All You Need Is Chicken Salad

This picture is unrelated, but adds visual appeal to an otherwise lackluster post. Also, it was an awesome vacation and it makes me happy.

After a day of sitting in repair shop waiting rooms, equipped with my tablet but entirely lacking the will to live write, my car is finally is decent shape again.  Tires are expensive, everyone.  Did you know that?  Turns out I have to cancel that trip to Cabo I planned with my massive book profits.  Just kidding.  I wasn’t going to go to Cabo.  It was going to be St. Croix.

My wallet was drained, and so was I.  The operative word being “was”, of course.  A nice lunch (can you guess what I had?), a walk in the sunshine, and a nap which left my hair looking like I sleepwalked to a salon in 1983 has helped to restore me.  Now maybe I can do some work again.  Sareisa has finally finished with her lunch, but she is beset with guests who have no real purpose, and just like in real life, I can’t quite figure out a polite way to get them to leave her the hell alone.  Tonight’s goal: fix the mess.

And yeah, it sounds like this book is terrible from what I’ve been saying.  But it isn’t, I promise.  I’m just going through a phase with it, and I don’t see the need to sugarcoat it.  The book is fiction, but the blog isn’t.  In either case, who wants to read about everything going perfectly?  That’s boring.  I bare my pain for your amusement.

Anyway, the reason I was so exhausted is because for the past couple of nights, I’ve been up until 2 in the morning trying to figure out how to format my pictures and documents so CreateSpace doesn’t have a conniption and start screaming at me again.  I’m not even sure I really want to use them – I’m not sure I’m ready, at this point, to commit to the printed page, considering my last post was all about the joys of constant editing – but it’s something I’m vaguely looking into, and I just wanted to see what the process was like.

Turns out it’s a pain in the ass.  You’d think it would be simple, and maybe I’m just doing something wrong.  But even after downloading their Word template, formatting everything as carefully as diffusing a bomb, and uploading it seventeen million times, my document never seems to fit their requirements.  I think they make it intentionally annoying so that I’ll use their design services.  But yeah.  I’m sorry, but I’m not going to pay 250 bucks for someone to format a Word document for me.  That’s just silly.  I will figure it out myself, even if I never end up doing it.  Now it’s a point of honor.

I would, eventually, like to have a paper copy of my work.  Because I won NaNoWriMo, I get five free copies if I use the coupon before June, which is pretty good incentive to do it.  And shockingly enough, there are plenty of people in the world who like to read, but don’t have e-readers, and are willing to pay ten dollars just to hold a book in their hands.  That’s cool.  But it means I really, really, really have to catch all the little things I’m unhappy with, including the bane of my existence: typos which are, in fact, other English words and therefore undetectable by spellcheck.  Those are the worst.

But one thing at a time, I think.  I don’t want to get so busy working on editing and publicity (wait – that was easy) that I lose momentum on writing new stuff.  Again.  Plus, I need to do a couple of little minor things like…finding a day job.  Did I mention I don’t have one?  Well, I don’t.  And I should.  So I will.  Eventually.

Anyway.  Has anyone had experience using CreateSpace or other print-on-demand companies?  Any words of wisdom to share?


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